Tired of Feeling Like a “HOT MESS”? Check out these tips!

A woman pulling at hair and screaming.

We’ve all been there… Way too much to handle, head spinning, nothing seems to be going right, and feeling like a failure on most fronts. Because we will never be able to make all aspects of our lives run smoothly, here are three tips to help you get your feet firmly planted on the ground so you can get back to being amazing.

1.    Stop taking responsibility for things that are not your responsibility.

With everything you're juggling, it can be easy to lose focus on the aspects of your life which are truly your responsibility. We can really only be responsible for things within our control - OURSELVES. We all have a certain amount of energy to use every day and if we use a large chunk of that energy on thinking about or trying to control things outside of our true control, we will have much less energy to take care of the business that is within our control, and that is a recipe for exhaustion! When it comes down to it, literally the only thing we have control of in the entire world is ourselves. Make a list of everything you believe is within your control. Then go back through the list and cross off anything that is not directly related to your actions, your thoughts or your feelings. It's amazing how much shorter that list will be.

2.    Get organized.

Make a list of the items that are within your control (see #1 for how to determine what's in your control) – literally write it down. We tend to problem solve better when take the information out of our heads and put it in black and white. Review the list critically to determine which tasks need to be completed first and which tasks will help complete other tasks. Using 3x5 cards or sticky notes, write one task per card and stack them on top of each other with the first item to complete on top.  By having each task on a separate card, you aren't looking at a huge list of items to mark off. Instead you just have the one task in front of you, thereby making the process feel less overwhelming.

3.    Make self-care a priority.

Unfortunately, when feeling like a "hot mess," one of the first things to go is self-care. However, in these times of feeling overwhelmed and overworked, it's critical that we make self-care a priority. Schedule 5 minutes per day to focus on you - reflect on an inspirational quote, sit on the porch and breathe, take a walk, list five things for which you are grateful, meditate, rock out to your favorite song, journal or spend time with a pet pet. Also, schedule one hour per week of additional time to focus on you. By taking time for yourself, you will better able to complete important tasks, resolve problems as they arise, and be more fully engaged and present with the people you love.

Rachel Baker, a Spokane therapist specializing in anxiety counseling sitting in a chair with feet up wearing a blue shirt.

Rachel Baker is a Spokane, Washington-based psychotherapist, with over 20 years experience helping overworked and overwhelmed professionals reduce anxiety and explore their use of substances.

Her goal is to connect individual client strengths and experiences with proven therapeutic techniques that increase skill and insight in order for people to create a life filled with peace+purpose.

If you are looking for individual therapy to address anxiety, addiction or trauma, and are located in Washington or Idaho, complete this form to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.

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